Beast of a day

Yesterday was a beast of a day. I worked from 8:00 am until 9:30 pm. There was a whole lot of driving going on in there too. I roped my boys into helping me in the evening (with really good compensation, of course). We hit rush hour traffic before the last job waaaay across town. I ate a crap-load of carbs just because it’s all I had with me. My poor planning; corn, green beans, noodles, bread, swedish fish (candy), pears, raisins, nuts (protein!). By the end of the day I was craving eggs, so I made a few before bed.

Today is going to be another beast, so will tomorrow. I’m breaking personal records right and left. Today, I will plan my food better. I spied some cooked chicken breasts outside in the fridge, so I’m going to snag one of those. I found a few big bags of broccoli too. Jackpot! I have a pot steaming as I type. Living a healthy life is the only way I’m able to keep up with this schedule of mine. I feel pretty good today, actually. The other day I was so tired I wanted to cry, but I got some extra sleep and I’m good again. This is what I signed up for, this is what I wanted. I wanted a thriving business. I’m in the process of building it. I am grateful, very much so.

Every now and then when I’m pushing myself like this, I think back to when I was still drinking and the hellish existence I created for myself. This morning, I made a morning smoothie; blueberries, celery, spinach, protein, flax seed and calcium/mineral supplement. And, I thought about years past when I would wake up with a dreadful hangover, sick, dreading my day, irritated with the boys, exhausted, etc…..Man, I hate that I did that to myself. I can’t imagine how I got through it. These days, my biggest secret weapon is my good nutrition and lots of sleep. I don’t dwell on the ugly years, but I do get flashback reminders now and then. I feel incredibly grateful that my body is so healthy now. Thank you, God. I say that a lot. And, it’s totally sincere. I am so grateful to have survived the brutality I put myself through. By the grace of God, I survived.

Yes, I’m sitting here sipping on the above mentioned smoothie. It’s 6:00 am. I’ve been up for an hour and a half. I am thinking I need to head upstairs to do a little yoga and spend some time with God. I need to write too. I read this by Anne Lamott the other day;

“I always say I’m so disciplined in my writing because very strict discipline is the only way I’ve found any freedom as an artist. Like meditation or in my spiritual journey, or exercise – hiking … you never want to do any hard work – you just want to watch MSNBC and eat miniature Kit-Kats. Believe me, that’s what I’d prefer to do. Or maybe try to catch up with old issues of the New Yorker. But in my work, I hold an imaginary pop gun to my head, and I sit down and my butt stays in the chair no matter what.”

That is the attitude I need to have bout my writing, my painting, my creating in general. I want to be disciplined about my practice and pursuit of them. These are the things that are important to me. This is the life I want for myself. There are a thousand other things that can grab my attention, but this is what I want. So, for the next few minutes, I will continue to write. Then, I will spend some time with God. I will stretch and strengthen. I will finish my smoothie and pack healthy food for the day.

It’s the only way to tackle the beast and live the life I want.

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